Q&A: ▌▌ Can you write an amusing little story that includes these phrases?
posted in Chat & Forums |Question by I am Sunshine: ▌▌ Can you write an amusing little story that includes these phrases?
1. For Michigan fans, football is a religion. And the Ohio State game is Easter.
2. I can’t believe you’re encouraging your daughter to join the Airhead Squad. Aim High!
3. Switched at birth. Please say I was switched at birth.
4. Don’t mess with the middle child!
5. The thief, the druggie, or the biker chick?
6. I am now refereeing a pie fight. I feel like the mother of Amish teens.
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Best answer:
Answer by Alec the Dalek
“ For Michigan fans, football is a religion. And the Ohio State game is Easter.”
“That’s all fine and good,” said Bertha, “but that doesn’t explain why you’re sitting in my lawn chair, wearing nothing but cole slaw.”
“Don’t mess with the middle child!” barked Stanley, and sprinted away.
Minutes later, old Mrs. Tillotson popped by. “I heard a disturbance, I thought.”
“I had to chase some weirdo out of my yard,” grumbled Bertha, scooping up the cole slaw back into its container.
“Oh!” said Mrs. Tillotson, “you mean the thief, the druggie, or the biker chick?”
“I think it was your brother, Stanley,” said Bertha, handing over the tub of cole slaw to Mrs. Tillotson. “Here, take this for your bridge club tonight.”
“Switched at birth. Please say I was switched at birth.”
“No.”
Mrs. Tillotson’s head suddenly swelled up like a giant balloon.
A moment later, it popped, spraying Bertha with petrified Tootsie Rolls and stale bubble gum.
“Never saw that coming,” mused Bertha. She then turned and saw annoying Kitty Marples entering her garden, without permission.
“ I can’t believe you’re encouraging your daughter to join the Airhead Squad,” fawned Kitty, her pink pompadour hair gleaming in the sun. “Aim High!”
Maybe I won’t, thought Bertha. Look what being an airhead did for poor Mrs. Tillotson.
“Well, as much as I LOVE chatting with nobodies like you, I must leave,” chimed Kitty, “ I am now refereeing a pie fight. I feel like the mother of Amish teens!”
“Help take our kids to Regionals!” called out Bertha, as the perky housewife and soccer mom disappeared into the driveway. No sooner than she turned around than she saw Stanley, only this time wearing nothing but coconut-lime-jello surprise.
“I think your TRUE calling is next door,” said Bertha, gesturing to the pink minivan backing out of the Marple’s driveway.
Stanley gave a cry of delight, and began chasing it up the street.
Ah…to experience true love again, thought Bertha, longingly.
END
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