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by marsmet525

Question by Rachel M: What social advice can you offer a teen with AS?
I am fourteen years old and have been diagnosed with a PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorders), one doctor told my dad it was Asperger’s Syndrome (AS). In a nutshell I have problems with socializing and my perception if usually off. It may seem like normal teen awkwardness, but for me it is difficult to talk; including family & friends. I want to make friends, just don’t know how. I know it may seem simple to everyone else, but it is not. It’s like driving a car; if you don’t know how much brake or gas to apply you run the risk of an accident. I don’t always know how to approach new friends or hold meaningful conversations with those who know me. I’ve been described as quite monotone or robotic in my speech and gestures. My dad has recommended I practice what I want to say to a person; but I find it hard to remember what to say or how to react when the conversation goes away from what I practiced. Any meaningful advice? Are there any teen AS websites/chat-rooms? Please, no insults!

Best answer:

Answer by Néant Humain
I am also diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome and have just gotten through college. The social arts are very difficult for me to understand, too. My experience has been that, no matter how hard I try to adapt to social situations, I will always come across as stiff/formal, geeky, or peculiar/weird.

I enjoy researching my interests and hobbies—but I too would occasionally enjoy doing something fun and relaxing like normal people. Apparently you have a similar desire for social contact. The frustration of experience taught me this: Don’t try to fit in. If you can’t do it anyway, why bother trying to do it halfway when you’ll still come across as odd? Just do what makes you happy and, if you want to say something, just say it. If people think you’re strange or “boring” because of what you talk about, they can learn to accept it.

The more you study and observe people, the better you will become at “passing” for normal when you must. It will probably always take conscious effort to meet the normal social expectations, though. Make a rough cost-benefit analysis of whether the situation merits that level of “acting” and just be yourself when it doesn’t.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, May 13th, 2012 at 7:02 am and is filed under Society & Cultures. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.