Free Online Jokes, Funny Free Jokes at Chat Place, Funny Jokes of the Day, Blonde Jokes - Funny free best and clean online jokes collection
Home |   Bookmark Us | Tell-A-Friend |   Add Url |       

Marriage Quotes 4 - Miscellaneous

Home | Most Visited Jokes Add Joke | Top Rated Jokes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Marriage Quotes 4
Categor Miscellaneous
Total Hits 212
Rating
Total Comments 0
The Joke
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho MarxWe in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho MarxI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho MarxPolitics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does. - Groucho MarxEighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. - Jackie MasonPerfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only hope to find in their butlers. - W. Somerset MaughamThere's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - James Holt McGavranMarriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to be grateful. - Phyllis McGinleyMen have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. - H. L. MenckenBachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. - H. L. MenckenWe must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. - H.L. MenckenLove is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another. - H. L. MenckenLove is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them. - H. L. MenckenMan is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another hanging on to his coattails. - H. L. MenckenWhenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an inquest. - H. L. MenckenLove cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. - Dr. Karl MenningerA lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house. - MoliereMarriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - MontaigneA good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - MontaigneIf a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings. - Lisa Moriyama, July 3, 1989A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden NashTo keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up. - Ogden NashA woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy. - NietzscheLove matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother. - NeitzscheNever be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. - PJ O'RourkeNo woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first. - Cesare PaveseA White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are great riches. - Poor Jimmy's AlmanacIt doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was someone else. - RogersA husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen RowlandWhen a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. - Helen RowlandWhen you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living. - Helen RowlandIn olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced. - Helen RowlandI think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita RudnerIf you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..."; they leave skid marks. - Rita RudnerHappy Vasectomy, Eric. Your loving wife and children: Chris, Aida, George, Carol, Yolanda, Joan, Shirley, Susan, Anita, Aileen, Jackie, Shelia, Bruce, Dean, Frank and Maxine. - Rolling Stone Classified AdDon't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Proverb
Rate this joke
Send this joke to your friends
Your Name :     :
Friend #1 email :
Friend #2 email :
Friend #3 email :
Friend #4 email :
Friend #5 email :
Leave your comment for this joke
Your Name *:
Email Add *: 
Website        :

Enter your comment
 
Enter the image below :

Comments for this joke
Joke categories

  • Animal Jokes
  • Animal World
  • April Fools Jokes
  • At Work
  • Aviation Jokes
  • Bar Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Blonds
  • Business Jokes
  • Camping Jokes
  • Celebrities
  • Children
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Clean Jokes
  • Comedian Jokes
  • Common Jokes
  • Computer Jokes
  • Computers
  • Computing Jokes
  • Dirty Jokes
  • Doctor Jokes
  • Drunks
  • Dumb Jokes
  • Elderly
  • Elderly Jokes
  • Ethnic
  • Ethnical Jokes
  • Farming Jokes
  • Festival Jokes
  • Food Jokes
  • Foreigners
  • Free Jokes
  • Funny Jokes
  • Gender Jokes
  • Golf Jokes
  • Instrument Jokes
  • Irish Jokes
  • Job/Office Jokes
  • Kids Jokes
  • Language Jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes
  • Legal
  • Marriage Jokes
  • Medicine
  • Men
  • Men Jokes
  • Military Jokes
  • Miscellaneous
  • Mixed Jokes
  • Mom/Dad Jokes
  • Other Jokes
  • Ouch
  • Police Jokes
  • Political Jokes
  • Politics
  • Practical Jokes
  • Real Jokes
  • Red Indian Jokes
  • Redneck Jokes
  • Relationships
  • Religion
  • School
  • Science
  • Situations
  • Sport Jokes
  • Sports
  • Stats/Math Jokes
  • Travel
  • Travel Jokes
  • War
  • Women
  • Women Jokes
  • Yo Mama Jokes
  • More Jokes
  • Copyright © chat-place.org

    For safety purposes, You are advised not to give out any Personal Information (i.e. Address, Phone Number, etc.) while on IRC. Because IRC is a Live Chat,The #1 Teen Chat Place can not take responsibility for any content seen by minors. If you feel offended by any content in the channel, please request Operator assistance for help with the matter. And don't forget to Bookmark this page so you can come back later.


    Best viewed at a minimum resolution of 800 x 600 using Internet Explorer 6 or higher 
    Copyright 2001 - 2008 Chat-Place.org All rights reserved.

    Thank You, Enjoy and have fun!