Learn your ABC's - Mom Style! |
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The Joke |
A - Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.B - BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.C - COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.D - DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.E - EMPTY NEST: See "WISHFUL THINKING."F - FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.G - GUM: Adhesive for the hair.H - HINDSIGHT: What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.I - INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.J - JUNK: Dad's stuff.K - KISS: Mom's medicine.L - LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and next a profit of 15 cents.M - MAYBE: No.N - Nail Polish: part of an assortment of make-up items such as lipstick, eyeliner, blush etc. which ironically make Mom look better while making her young daughter look "like a tramp."O - OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mom's nickname for Dad.P - PANIC: What a mother goes through when the darn wind-up swing stops.Q - QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.R - REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the kitchen.S - SPOILED ROTTEN: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma.T - TOWELS: See "FLOOR COVERINGS".U - UNDERWEAR: An article of clothing, the cleanliness of which ensures the wearer will never have an accident.V - VACATION: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.W - WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.X - XOXOXOXOXO: Mom salutation guaranteed to make the already embarrassing note in a kid's lunch box even more mortifying.Y - "YIPPEE!": What mother's shout the first day of school.Z - ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it. |
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