# |
Title |
Category |
Hits |
Rating |
1 |
Musicians on a sinking ship - |A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together."Help!" cried the cellist, "I can'...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
226 |
0 |
2 |
Make me a better musician - |There once was a violist playing in the Winnipeg Symphony. He wasn't that wonderful a player, so he...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
628 |
0 |
3 |
The insane conductor - |A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
745 |
0 |
4 |
Violin jokes - |Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?A: The bow is moving.Q: How do you make a violin sou...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
309 |
0 |
5 |
The autograph book - |Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom ...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
291 |
0 |
6 |
Contacting a friend - |Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what lif...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
334 |
0 |
7 |
Here is your punishment - |"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant."You have, Your ...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
677 |
0 |
8 |
Vocal jokes - |Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?A: He can't find the key and doesn't know w...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
341 |
0 |
9 |
This must be heaven - |So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, "You'...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
808 |
0 |
10 |
The amazing conductor - |When a young hotshot conductor was making his debut at the Met, he showed the jaded and skeptical o...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
321 |
0 |
11 |
Arriving at Heaven - |A soprano died and went to Heaven. St. Peter stopped her at the gate asking, "Well, how many false ...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
3029 |
0 |
12 |
Operas that never made it - |Britten: A Midsummer Nightmare.Mozart: The Magic Tuba.Puccini: La Bamba.Rossini: The Plumber of Sev...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
319 |
0 |
13 |
Orchestra jokes - |Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
306 |
0 |
14 |
George Bernard Shaw - |While at a concert being performed by a very bad orchestra, George Bernard Shaw was asked what he'd...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
374 |
0 |
15 |
Playing music - |Last summer, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven's 9th symphony.However, it being quite h...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
562 |
0 |
16 |
Efficiency - |From: Efficiency & Ticket, Ltd., Management ConsultantsTo: Chairman, The London Symphony OrchestraR...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
346 |
0 |
17 |
May I speak to the conductor - |A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead.The musi...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
301 |
0 |
18 |
Musical jokes - |Q: What do you get when you play a new age song backwards?A: A new age song.Q: What happens if you ...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
322 |
0 |
19 |
Any last requests? - |A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and t...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
2028 |
0 |
20 |
Top Ten Signs The Concert You're Attending is Not The Real Woodstock - |From "Late Show with David Letterman" on Tuesday, August 9, 199410. It's hosted by Ed McMahon.9. "A...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
798 |
0 |
21 |
Glossary of music terms - |Accent: An unusual manner of pronunciation, e.g. "Y'all sang that real good!"Accidentals: Wrong not...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
364 |
0 |
22 |
How to buy a stero - |1. Carefully calculate power requirements, based on room dimensions, etc. Multiply by a factor of 1...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
366 |
0 |
23 |
Musician jokes - |Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
702 |
0 |
24 |
Where are we? - |Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kri...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
1024 |
2.8125 |
25 |
What's that sound? - |A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins readi...Read the whole joke |
Instrument Jokes |
390 |
0 |