# |
Title |
Category |
Hits |
Rating |
1 |
I have bad and very bad news - |Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad ne...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
316 |
0 |
2 |
Did you take the patient's temperature? - |Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature?Nurse: No. Is it missing?...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
290 |
0 |
3 |
We need to help these people - |A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.Doctor: We need to get these people to...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
287 |
0 |
4 |
I've got good and bad - |I've got good and badThis old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor te...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
640 |
0 |
5 |
Did you ever have this before? - |Doctor: Have you ever had this before?Patient: Yes.Doctor: Well, you've got it again!...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
219 |
0 |
6 |
My son swallowed the can opener - |Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener!Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be a...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
298 |
0 |
7 |
The bad and the worse news - |A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look ...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
285 |
0 |
8 |
My wife is beating me - |David: My wife beats me, doctor.Doctor: Oh dear. How often?David: Every time we play Scrabble!...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
303 |
0 |
9 |
I'm gaining weight doctor - |Trish: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor.Doctor: You should diet.Trish: Really? What color?...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
603 |
0 |
10 |
We are the best of friends - |The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I wou...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
649 |
0 |
11 |
Does it hurt when you do this? - |Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?Patient: Yes.Doctor: Well, don't do that....Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
267 |
0 |
12 |
Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in? - |Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?Doctor: A shoebox....Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
186 |
0 |
13 |
What is your problem? - |Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can he...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
256 |
0.5 |
14 |
You're in great health - |Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.Doc...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
321 |
0 |
15 |
Driving exams worry me - |Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!Doctor: Don't worry about it. You'll pass...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
256 |
0 |
16 |
The Code of Ethical Behavior for Patients - |1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort.Involvement with the patient's suffering migh...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
316 |
0 |
17 |
Problems remembering - |Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!Doctor: So, since when ...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
294 |
0 |
18 |
Doctor, should I file my nails? - |Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else....Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
213 |
0 |
19 |
I would like to havea second opinion - |A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.Doctor: Your tonsils gotta...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
295 |
0 |
20 |
I think I need a pair of glasses - |Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank....Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
270 |
0 |
21 |
Put me into a fighting mood - |Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Di...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
672 |
0 |
22 |
Get me an ambulence now - |A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!Operator:...Read the whole joke |
Doctor Jokes |
297 |
0 |
23 |
Consultation fees - |A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The but...Read the whole joke |
Lawyer Jokes |
294 |
0 |
24 |
Question and answer jokes - |Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his nec...Read the whole joke |
Lawyer Jokes |
273 |
0 |
25 |
Actual stupid questions asked - |The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.Now d...Read the whole joke |
Lawyer Jokes |
2306 |
0 |