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The Bachelor Diet
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The Joke
The Bachelor DietMondayBreakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallowsome toothpaste while brushing your teethLunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers"- those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime butnow cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, abowl of chilli, a soft drink and have her stop on theway back for a family size bottle of maalox.Afternoon Snack - Drink the maaloxDinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chickenthree-piece Dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.TuesdayBreakfast - Eat the coleslawLunch - Go to the office vending machine and put ninetyfive cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eatwhatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.Dinner - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.WednesdayBreakfast - Jaws couldn't eat Breakfast after a night atEl Flasho'sLunch - Rolaids and a cokeDinner - Drop in at a married friends house and beg forscrapsThursdayBreakfast - Order out for pizzaLunch - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbombersack forleftovers.Dinner - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you gethungry ask the bartender for olives.FridayBreakfast - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds.Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes betterand it's better for you.Lunch - Skip Lunch, Fridays are murderDinner - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don'teat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.SaturdayBreakfast - Sleep through it.Lunch - DittoDinner - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts.Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant themin a hanging basket.SundayBreakfast - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.Lunch - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.Dinner - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her aboutrenting your old room.
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