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When I'm into someone, I pretty much avoid getting to know them because I fear that when they get to know me they won't like me as much as they did at first impression. I keep my distance to keep their impression of me the same. I do this unconciously. But what happens is I end up making it worse. I act completely rude. I ignore them. I'm nice one day and am rude the next. I play those mind games.
If I am alone with this one person, I don't really know what to say, because I fear they won't like how I come across if I do say something, so I don't say much. I hurry and get out. I really hate how I do this, because I really want to get closer to these people. I walk out and I later regret it. Part of it is that I fear they won't like me, the other part is that I want to see that someone does like me. I do it to get a sense of their feeling toward me through their response.
When I'm alone with someone else; I'm friendly, I smile and chat. I'm great with people I'm not interested in, I often find myself flirting with people I'm not interested in, and it's because I'm comfortable with them. The person I like usually sees that I treat other people great and so eventually come to the conclusion that I just don't like them. They, in turn, begin acting rude and later, they forget about me and begin to dislike me. I really really hate that I do this. It's an unconcious thing I do and I don't realize it until later. I'm hurting myself. Any advice to help me out?
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