| Chat Place Forum http://www.chat-place.org/forum/ |
|
| Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? http://www.chat-place.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=33&t=18468 |
Page 1 of 2 |
| Author: | Jennifer L [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
The question as to whether adoptive parents can love their adopted children as much as biological children has been asked over and over again. I don't recall ever seeing the question posed to adoptees. |
|
| Author: | Winston [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
YES and you should. They are the ones who have made the effort to preserve you. They heard the angels call. |
|
| Author: | cantstopLinnyGLindalouwho [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
Sure it is. But my answer is the same for the reverse question. I love all my parents, but I am bonded differently to each of them. My ap's were pretty clueless as to how to parent an adoptee. I cant blame them, they only went by what the agency told them in 1965, which was a bunch of bunk. But they were smart enough to realize the bond they had with my brother (also adopted) and I was extremely different from the bond they had with our sister, who was their bio child. They are realated to her. ;) Same love, different bond. |
|
| Author: | PhilM [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
I understand why you're asking, but all of these questions are... off. I love my adoptive parents. I will never stop. But do I love them more than my wife? Do I love my wife more? What about my best friend? Do I love him more or less than my wife or my parents? I don't know how to make these judgments. I love my first mom. Do I love her more or less than any of these people? I don't know how to answer that question. I didn't know her until a few years ago. When I met her, I immediately felt love for her. But I didn't think to compare that with other people. The love I have for all of these people is different in each case. The love I feel for my wife is different than the love I feel for my best friend is different than the love I feel for my (adoptive) parents is different than the love I feel for my (first) mom. I don't know how to make measurements of lesser or greater, better or worse love. It's love. It's different each time. |
|
| Author: | SJM [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
Mmm. Maybe. j/k Yes, I love my adoptive parents as much as my biological parents. I love them for different reasons. They've played different roles in my life. And frankly, there are days when I'm not especially happy with the lot of them. I'm sure the feeling is mutual. :) But yes, I love them all. |
|
| Author: | SLY [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
I have 6 children. I lost the oldest one to adoption, gave birth to 3 more and got 2 step children that I raised from toddlerhood to adulthood. I love them all. On any given day, I like some better than others, and they have each taken turns at being my favorites. However, there is a bond between the ones that I birthed and the ones that I raised that is different. I 'recognize' the ones I birthed. I know them on a different level than the stepchildren. I love them all, but the genetic tie and recognition is just there. |
|
| Author: | TTC for 25 years [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
Yes. I plan on adopting when I get my B.A. Degree and Insha Allah get a job. I will live my adopted children the same as my biological children. I won't treat them differently from my bio children. I have too big a heart to treat any child differently from another. |
|
| Author: | Commercials are Brainwashing [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
Yes absolutely . All love is different but that does not mean it has to be more or less. Someone is not going to love their spouse the same way that they love their child, parent or friend etc. Any relationships someone has with someone is different then the relationship they have with another person. Love should just be that love unfortunately this is just not a concept many people understand or get. |
|
| Author: | Spotty-Dotty [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
Yes, It's like the way a parent can love two of their children. An adoptee should love their adoptive parents like people love their mother/father. That sort of love. The adoptive parents are the people that raised and loved the child. They done Absolutely everything apart from giving birth An adoptee should love their natural parents in a different way as they love their a-parents. I'm not saying they should love their a-parents more but a natural parent who comes along 18 years later when the responsibly of taking care of you is gone just seems like a friend and not a mother because BIRTHERS ARE NOT MOTHERS. |
|
| Author: | 7rin [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
Of course it is - although as with every other person on the face of the planet, the love is never 'the same love' from one person to another. |
|
| Author: | Prof Nebel [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
Well for me personally, I love my adoptive parents much more than I could ever love my biological parents. Perhaps this is because I was given up at a young age and have not had contact with them since. I do feel sympathy for my birth-mother, since I know that she struggled to raise me alone for 3 years, but decided I would have a chance at a better life if I was adopted. However, I feel so much love and gratitude toward my adoptive parents. I was so wanted by them that they went through the long and arduous adoption process, and gave me endless love and support. My biological father did not want me, and pressured my mother to have an abortion. My biological mother gave me up. They are strangers to me, and I feel no love for them. My adoptive parents are everything, and I love them very much. |
|
| Author: | kateiskate [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
It is. But the love I have for every person in my life that I care about is different and can't really be measured by how I love other people. For example, I don't know or remember my first mom, but I love her for giving me life and also because she is forever a part of me. And I love my adoptive parents because overall they are good people who love me and have made mistakes but are generally just human beings. I wouldn't say I love any one parent more than another. But the love is different although it is still very very real. |
|
| Author: | H8015 [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
It's possible. It's for the individual to decide how they feel about anyone. |
|
| Author: | Sunny7954 [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
The way I love my mother is very similar to the way I love my son--as opposed to my daughters. My son was soooo ill that I very nearly lost him, and he's come back to me. I lost my mother for 22 years, too. And I have her back I love them with a ferocious intensity that is a mixture of blood and loss. Like missing parts I have found and have made me complete again, So the answer for me, is no. |
|
| Author: | Melissa Swan [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is it possible for an adoptee to love their adoptive parents as much as their biological parents? |
yes of course. i love my aps far far more than my first m, and i don't love the sperm donor at all. my godfather looked after me together with the fm for the first 2 years and i have always loved him as much as the fm. he was equally important even though hes not biologically related. i didnt know there was such a thing as biological relatives i just knew what people were to me. i thought he was my first father until i found out about the birds and the bees. |
|
| Page 1 of 2 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|