Why Your Teen Needs You - Even If He Acts Otherwise
by: Christina Botto
A few weeks ago a Mom touched on a very interesting subject - our teens are growing up and leave us wondering if we are doing enough for them. "My older son (16) is hardly home between school and his job," she said. "And my younger son, 13, is always on the computer. I feel I should be doing something for them - I feel so useless."
Teenagers are not clinging onto our shirttails as they did when they were little.
They used to be around us, needing things all day long. Now everything revolves around school and friends, and we are pushed to the sidelines.
No wonder parents feel that their teen does not need them anymore. Teens are learning how to become self-sufficient, responsible adults. It is natural that teens start to pull away from parents and family and begin to build their own circle of friends and activities.
Even with parents stepping into the background, our teen could not possible become self-sufficient and confident without our emotional support. Teens are conquering new territory; they are trying to make decisions about their daily lives, without having any experience or knowledge of how to.
Sure, they have their friends - but their friends don't have experience either. Some teens are masking their insecurity better than others. Although not sure about anything, they portray some level of assurance and conviction, so their peers don't make fun of them.
Parents can misunderstand this false self-confidence as their teen not needing them anymore. Don't let their attitude fool you - they need you now just as much as when they were learning how to walk, but their need for physical assistance has been replaced with the need for emotional assistance.
Teens need their parents' stability, advice, and support. To be able to give your teen the support he needs, to have your teen tell you when he's in trouble, and to have him come to you with questions, you need to keep an emotionally close relationship with your teen. This does not mean that you have to spend a lot of time together, but that you have to trust and respect each other.
To be able to build this mutual trust and respect, stay active in your teen's life. Take your daughter shopping, discuss styles and fashion, and look at fashion magazines together. Plan a beauty treatment, go to a spa, massage, or get your nails done.
Take your son to places that fascinate boys - Motocross, Stock-car racing, paint-ball, even the local fun center. Allow him to take a couple of friends along, and he'll boast: "Guess what! My dad is taking us to…."
Your teenager might not want to do the same things he enjoyed as a child, but that does not mean he does not want to spend any time with you at all. It might be challenging to find time to fit your teen into your day, but it is necessary in order to stay an active part in your teen’s life.
Finding new ways of staying active in your teen’s life will strengthen your bond and give you the opportunity to listen and to learn about your teen’s opinions. You also will have the chance to reinforce moral standards while creating memories that may last a lifetime.
This article is available for reprint with author's resource box intact and all links live and clickable. Author reserves copyright.
About The Author
Christina Botto, author of "Help Me With My Teenager!" has been involved with helping parents and teenagers resolve complicated issues for more than 14 years. Her website
http://www.parentingateenager.net offers a variety of tools and resources to help parents of teenagers.
source:
http://www.articlecity.com
