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The story is this(sorry its so long) Im gay and for a year now I have been seeing a girl. She has never been in a relationship before but is adamant that she is not gay but that she loves me. She has had opportunities to go out with guys but hasn't pursued them because she says she doesn't want anyone but me. Our relationship used to greatly affect my schoolwork (yes Im 17) but this is sorted now.



I am openly gay, very openly gay. We haven't 'come out' as a couple, however she has said that she feels it is inevitable that everyone will know at some point and I feel fine letting her decide when the right time is, after all what is important to me isn't advertising the great girl I have to the world, its solely about loving her.



This is the problem. Ive never been this in love with anyone. Im aware that at 17 this is hardly a great statement, but I couldn't imagine ever loving anyone more. Its not like we have a perfect relationship, we fight, get annoyed with each other etc but we always resolve it and never hold grudges. I would honestly say that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Before her I never even imagined being with one person for the rest of my life but now I don't even find other women very interesting.



My father believes that I am being "taken for a ride" by her.



I would like to know general opinions on the situation, whether or not Im being young and foolish or whether theres a chance I could have stumbled apon "the one" so early in life.



please be honest.

go slow give this some time, she may be the one, she may not but you have time so go slow

A person is always "the one" until they're not! You need to keep things in perspective and not dwell on this so much. Concentrate on yourself, your goals and keep in mind that this may or may not work.
The truth is that relationships at your age RARELY last a lifetime. USUALLY they don't. Keep your focus on yourself and your goals because she isn't likely to be there for the longterm and you will still have to move on in a positive way.
By the way.. if she's adamant that she's not gay then she will eventually want a straight relationship.

She is adamant that she's not gay, but she's in what sounds like a fairly exclusive relationship with another female? I'd say she has some personal issues she needs to work through. It's fine if she isn't ready to come out about her orientation, but that's just utter denial and not good for her.

As to you being "taken for a ride" - does she take advantage of your relationship? Are you giving her money or favors you would not otherwise give a friend? If she's not getting anything extraordinary out of the relationship (most people abuse a relationship for material gain or for emotional leeching), then I would say chances are very low that she's taking you for a ride.

Don't worry too much about being 'young and foolish'. It's unavoidable. :) Enjoy it while you can.

Think about it long and hard - if it seems like she's taking, taking, taking from the relationship and not giving back, then you should beware.

Heartache is inevitable but passes, so don't let fear of it keep you from enjoying what you have while you have it. You have a very healthy outlook (not needing to parade the relationship) on this, I think you'll do alright in the long run.

Wow, you would think a girl would be able to figure out a girl.

Two things. First enjoy the love but it isn't forever...you two are young and who knows. So don't concentrate on that.

Second she sounds conflicted between love of a lover and love of a friend. Throw in all the hassel one gets for coming out. She is just confused.

If she says she loves you but is not gay it sounds like no sex for you. That has to be hard.

I'd say just let this 'play' out. You don't know...she sounds like she doesn't know...sho the rest of us don't know either.

BC

well... i think its very good that you think you have found your true love at an early age. you may or may not be in love. just think about these things before you get into anything to big: don't do anything like get married or adopt a baby as soon as your 18. the reason is, not because i don't believe in your true love, its because young people change there mind easily.
but, if you cant stop yourself from getting married as sdon'tas your 18, than go ahead! no one is stopping you! so what of your mum or dad or Friends dont agree that you should do it? if its your wish of life, go do it!
good luck xx