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 Post subject: what should i do about this?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 8:50 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 8:50 pm
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long story, ill make it short as possible.

i broke up with my bf after i found out i was pregant. i was tired of how imature he is. i still wanted to be friends and keep things civil. after i broke up with him, i heard he was moving so i called and asked him about it and he wouldnt tell me when he was leaving and said im selfish for asking bc its none of my business. he said "what do you think, im gonna be your bff now?" thats the last time we talked and until i was five months pregnant (im six now) i thought i was doing this on my own. then his mom calls me and said she wanted to be in the babys life and that her son moved bc she kicked him out of her house bc after i broke up with him he started drinking and talking bad about me and her and it was getting out of control. she said that he was having a mental breakdown so she made him move in with his dad where he was working and going to therapy and that he was very angry towards me. she said that she thought he had been calling me (he wasnt) and that she didnt call till then bc he wouldnt give her my number. so she calls me now about every two weeks or so. but her son, who she says plans on being in the babys life, still hasnt contacted me. hes also home now, and he lives like two minutes away from me. a few days ago when the mom called me she said that her son wanted her to ask me if he could buy me a mothers day present. she said that he has been trying to call me but is scared to bc i might yell at him. im six months pregnant and havent heard from him since we broke up.

we were only together three months before i got pregnant. i dont really know his family at all! so he just seems like a very unstable person to me and dont get me wrong i would never keep the baby from him, but im worried about leaving the baby ALONE with him. all he ever does is sit on the couch and play video games and fall asleep. his mom told me that he has to get an apartment right next to hers so that she can always be "a scream away" when hes with the baby bc he wont know what hes doing. im concerned about my childs well being. would it be wrong of me to tell him that if he wants to see the baby that he can come see him at my house, or that i can hang out at his house while he visits the baby? im scared that he will take me to court and get the baby every other weekend. i dont even want to think of what will happen if i have to let the baby be alone with him. i know the baby would stay with me at first anyways but what about when hes a little older? how should i handle this?



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 Post subject: what should i do about this?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 10:02 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 10:02 pm
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Good luck trying to get yo baby daddy back


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 Post subject: what should i do about this?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 11:14 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 11:14 pm
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let him visit the baby at your house.


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 Post subject: what should i do about this?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 12:26 am 
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I would also be scared to leave the baby with him, i don't blame you. I think it would be a good idea to stay their with him and the baby while he visits. Obviously he doesn't care about the baby otherwise he would have called you to see how you were doing and if you needed anything (because your expecting his child). If he even does try to send you to court, he isn't responsible enough to watch the child. What if the baby rolls off the bed while he's playing video games?? No, i wouldn't trust him!


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 Post subject: what should i do about this?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:38 am 
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First of all, don't agree to do ANYTHING with his mom as the go-between. If he wants to be a part of this baby's life, then he needs to man up and talk with you himself. It sounds like his mom is the only one who is interested in being a part of the baby's life and is making excuses for her loser son. The courts will side with you at this point. He has had no contact with you whatsoever. I would go talk to a lawyer about your options. It sounds like you don't want to keep him from his baby, but your main concern (only concern) has to be the welfare of that child.

You need to take the first step and speak with a lawyer. You have to do this to protect your baby and yourself. Tell them your concerns and that you are willing to allow the father to have his time with the baby, but you do not feel the child will be safe with him. The lawyer can direct you from there.

Honestly, I don't think he's going to be much a part of the child's life, unless he grows up. He sounds very irresponsible and is not doing himself any favors not speaking with you.

Good luck and keep us updated.

Oh, and ignore hateful people on here. Yes, it is easier if you have children only when married, but the reality isn't that way and you have to deal with the situation you are in. I'm sorry people are so rude. Ignore them and God bless.


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 Post subject: what should i do about this?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 2:50 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 2:50 am
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sounds really complicated....how old are you and the dad? at any point he can take you to court for visitation...Best of luck and i hope it all works out


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