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26th April 2010

Why do I feel like only living with my boyfriend or getting married is the only way Ill be happy?

posted in Teens |

So he doesnt want me to live l get married yet because he says Im too young immature and that Im not ready. But I feel though I am ready. I dont do normal teenage activities like clubs parties ect… And I just work/school. Im 19 and he is 28… So he wants me to finish college first but I just want to be with him : what should I do?

This entry was posted on Monday, April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am and is filed under Teens. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

There are currently 11 responses to “Why do I feel like only living with my boyfriend or getting married is the only way Ill be happy?”

Why not let us know what you think by adding your own comment! Your opinion is as valid as anyone elses, so come on... let us know what you think.

1 On April 26th, 2010, enojoying7 said:
Perhaps you are a loser and have no self esteem other than what a man can give you?

posted on April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am
2 On April 26th, 2010, monkeygirl 2 said:
you should actually finish school having an education is an amazing thing. Talk to him about the whole situation and perhaps plan to get married after you are done school.

posted on April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am
3 On April 26th, 2010, Falcon said:
Get your own identity. You seem to need a man to validate you. That is a recipe for disaster. You also sound needy. This is desperation and it is not attractive. Get a grip.

posted on April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am
4 On April 26th, 2010, cactuslady said:
Kimmy if you isolate your thoughts on one thing and not leave the door open for opportunity then how can you expect the greater things in life when your cramped into one thought of someone that probably could not give you everything now anyway. Open your mind…its about spiking the brain into taking more responsibility for yourself and you only not anybody else. Look after you my dear.

posted on April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am
5 On April 26th, 2010, Tphat said:
You say your not immature.. however your question implies that you are. You are not respecting this man when he says he is not ready. What do you want to do? force him into a marriage that he doesnt want? Thats no way to start married life.

I say you should accept that he is just not ready yet and if you dont like it then you should consider moving on.

posted on April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am
6 On April 26th, 2010, justlisa72 said:
Sounds like he is trying to be mature about it and doesnt want you to jump into marriage without experiencing more of life yet. He doesnt want you to have regrets somewhere down the road because you didnt do this or didnt do that.

posted on April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am
7 On April 26th, 2010, said:
Listen to your heart and that inner voice…is THIS the man that you will allow to be the Father of your children?

Hes correct finish your education at the very least. Dont pin ALL of your plans on needing to be with him. You wont be a whole person that way.

posted on April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am
8 On April 26th, 2010, izumey said:
Listen to him
For you to really really NEED to be with this guy is the very proof that you are immature and juvenile in your own feminine identity. At 19 youve never really lived alone. And Ill bet you cant do ALONE This is because you are incomplete as a person. You feel empty and alone unless you are with someone else. This is your selfish neediness shining through.
This is why young relationships fail most of the time.
Give yourself a year or two in this relationship and you will mature to a point where you see him in a whole new light. Youll look at him and wonder what did I ever see in him? This has nothing to do with him. Its about your complete immaturity in how your see YOURSELF

Grow up.

posted on April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am
9 On April 26th, 2010, Jesse Z said:
Does he really feel for you? Maybe hes right in his own way because people live in a particular society with the need to be socially stable have a profession etc. But your age is fine for everything including marriage and childbirth. Thats my opinion.

posted on April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am
10 On April 26th, 2010, allie said:
Well I have to say that just because you dont do activities like party and clubs does not mean you are mature. Its just your personality. And you probably should wait a couple more years. There is no rush and you are young. If you feel you are ready great. But your boyfriend does not feel completely comfortable with it yet and you have to respect that. For example Ive wanted to have a child since I was 20. My husband didnt want to then. Now two years later hes ready and Im ready and we are going to try. I respected his decision not to have a child at that time and he respected and acknowledged that I was ready. You both have to be comfortable with it and you should finish college like he said. I waited until I had a steady job and a degree from college before we even discussed children. Its the right thing to do to help you out. You can however discuss the next step of your relationship which is not living together but doing it on a trial basis. Get a few of your personal items and clothes and keep them at his place. Then once a month or whenever you want you could stay there for an entire week. This way you both have your privacy but you are getting a taste of what living together is like. You have to be mature and think things out logically. You will be okay living apart from him and things will shape up for you as you go on in life. You have to give it time and focus on your schoolwork. Good luck

posted on April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am
11 On April 26th, 2010, Jordan said:
I believe hes rite in what hes saying. You should concentrate on getting your education first before you take on the responsibilities of marriage. The better the education the better career youre going to have. Youre still with him but you dont have to be married to him just yet. In all honestly honey it is your age that is showing by the way youre thinking. If youre going to be married regardless of when then what is a few yrs. of waiting going to do. Dont make the same mistake I did when I got married at age 19. We had two children within two yrs. I could no longer work. No we did not have to get married. But we thot we were ready to get married so we did. He was 21 BTW. Your b/f is even older wiser than my ex husband was so I feel he is thinking correctly. Our marriage lasted 4 yrs. Had we waited we would have found we were not as suited as we thot we were. Not saying youre not but as I said if its meant to be it will be regardless if you wait or not. I would say to do as he says see how you make out. Concentrate on the important things in life at the moment. The things that are going to matter in your future. Please for now just listen to what he says I think youll find he knows what hes talking about…the best to you…:

posted on April 26th, 2010 at 1:27 am